How Would We Measure Hail Without Golf Balls?

I Need a Shot of Vodka

2006-04-14T19:53:00.000-07:00

Exhausted......

This living apart from my husband is killing me. It's not so much the being apart from him that is so stressful, it's the mental, physical, emotional, drain from the distance. I love my husband, more than words can explain, but right now I resent the situation we're in.

Frustrated..........

Travel to see him.......Squeeze in a few hours before he has to go to work, then wait, by myself and kiddo, with no money to go do anything, the house not mine do anything with, then his parents show up with a whole world of problems they bring in of their own. I feel anger and it's hard not to take it out on him.

He comes home to see me.......Roommate in the house so we're not really home alone and, everyone and god realizes Andrew is home and comes over or in town to see him. My house is full, and yes I'm selfish but I want to just spend a normal moment ALONE with my family. What can I say. We can't go anywhere without people there.

Broke down...........

I'm almost to the end and running out of steam. I know we only have a few more months to go but I feel drained and question whether or not I can make it with out breaking.

I Kiss You!

2006-04-13T05:45:00.000-07:00

For all you single women out there looking for a good man!

http://www.ikissyou.org/

I cracked up at the "I speak english" part.

Psycolojy..........my new word of the day!

Just reading.....and laughing!

2006-04-11T09:41:00.000-07:00

Just reading.....and laughing!

One of my daily reads is dooce.com, and this is a blog she linked to on one of her posts. I sat in the library laughing outloud, alone, and thought the rest of the world (as if anyone reads this) should experience the same joy!

"On my way to lunch at the Manhattan Mall Food Court, I noticed how many reflective surfaces there are in the mall. You can spend your wait for the elevators by staring at your mirror reflection in its closed doors. Structural columns are also covered in mirrored glass. Certain stores, like LIMITED, employ reflective trim around their plate glass windows. Everywhere you go, you get to see what a terrible decision you've made by visiting the mall.

Today I also got to see, very plainly, the small lump developing around my mid-section. I have not yet determined if it is benign. It's that weird lump you get after you've grown pretty accustomed to being skinny and then nature tells you, "hey, check it out. Party's over, fatty." It's small now, but I fear it could grow into what I like to call a "weed baby." (Check out lifelong pot smokers. Even the skinniest of them get a crazy second trimester weed baby. Skinny pot smokers eventually develop upper bodies that resemble a python digesting a mouse.)"

link to this blog:
http://www.tremble.com/scribblins/000668.html

Role Models

2006-04-07T11:34:00.000-07:00

http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/americas/4887612.stm

How can we teach our children to be honest, and trustworthy?

How can we tell our children hurting others for personal benefit is wrong?

How can we tell our children that difference is not a bad thing, and just because someone has a different culture and worships another god, it does not make them “evil doers”?

How can we tell our children to go to school and learn when educated people use words like “evil doers”?

How can we convince our children to any of this when the leader and role model of this country is George W. Bush?

Politics aside people, this man is a horrible example of what a good person should be. Telling classified information to shut someone up? Just because that someone was questioning "W's" motivations behind invading Iraq. Oh wait a minute....maybe this is his example of good Christian values he is so adamant about advocating for. I get it!!!

Do You Know this Guy?

2006-04-03T18:42:00.000-07:00

This semester I’m taking a Psychology class. Part of our homework was to discuss our responses to a true / false questionaire we took in class. The last question was: “what percentage of men cheats on their wives?” To much of the classe's dismay (and mine too because I guessed 45%) the correct answer was 60%. Apparently that was too disheartening to my bible belt class, thus creating a 100+ posting discussion board to get started. Here is one student’s response that totally reaffirms my abhorrence for the neo Nazi fundamentalist Christians out there. (With my comments in purple ) All spelling and grammar is left untouched, not saying mine is much better but I do know what spell check is.

“the question of commitment versus instinct boils down to the fundamentalphilosophical beliefs of a SOCIETY. these two philosophies are HUMANISIMand THEISM.” (ohhhh trying to sound smart are we….I’ll give him points for that) like what someone said "we CHOSE to have this tradition." i want to takethat one step further and say, "we CHOSE to MAINTAIN this tradition,"for if we are merely "exclusive creatures" we say we are no better thanwolves and panthers (why do they automatically compare us "heathens" to goats?) who only join together to hunt and preserve species,and again we wouuld be no better than bonobo monkeys who only have sexfor the fun of it.(like there is anything wrong with that????) to quote Joshua Harrisson (author of "i kissed dating good bye" and "boy meets girl"), "sex is not the problem, lust is." (yes folks, it’s all down hill from here) if we really want to root out this behavior from men (and women!!), we mustremove its roots--lust. lust in men is triggered MAINLY (not ONLY) by two things: sight and touch.(really? Dude I would hate to be his wife someday…."stop it honey or I’ll lust you!") therefore: let us KILL (strong words don’t you think…better put him on the “psycho” watch list) the porno industry and commercials (and adds) that promote girls in bikkinis. As a matter of fact, the pornINDUSTRY sells $100 million more than nfl, nhl, nba, and nsa last yearCOMBINED.(take a hint…….sure, the masses rally against the porn industry but in the same essence they spend more money on the it than church) again, i'll take this another step further and quote Jesus Christ,(because I’m sure you know him personally) "if any man so much as looks at a woman with lust, he has already committed adultery in his heart." and i'll quote paul, "FLEE from sexual immorality, for any other sin a man commits is outside his body, but any one who sins sexually sins against his OWN body." with that said: as a guy, i DO NOT want to see a girl onlyhalf-dressed.(sooo……… maybe you’re playing for the other team eh?) It makes me wanna throw up.(point confirmed) some guys find that as a turn on. much in the same way, guys should also dress promptly.(how the hell do you dress promptly?) no no no, i am NOT talking about going back to the 40's and dressin like prunes! (I belive the word you’re looking for here is pruDes) Not at all, i am all for liberty but i am against lust. i've seen relationships and marriages (yes, MARRIAGES of pastors and ministers) break up because of this...this...this abomination of a sin!!(honey I doubt it was some girl in a bikini that broke up the marriage………..there were obviously other problems, maybe lack of lust....eh? lol) i hate it as much as i do all the other "big sins." with that said: what is commitment? what is intimacy? intimacy to this generation is shackin up in some one's bedroom!!(no that’s fucking and from the sounds of it you could seriously use some!!!!) but that's notright...intimacy is "into-me-see". (is that what they tell you at your right winged church brainwashing meetings? How cute!) It is being one with the person thatone is married to or together with. (side note: God made adam and eve,not adam and steve)(This is the point I want to hurl large objects at his head..........and yes I AM on the psycho watch list! This is a whole new topic I'll be glad to "blog" on later) It is that point in which no verbal communication isrequired, that just one look says it all. It is that moment that is achieved after growing together as one PERSON. It is when someone lookinin cannot tell where one person stops and the other begins.(again…………brainwashing meetings?) Commitment is this, again to quote Jesus Christ, "by this that all men will know that you are my disciples, that you love one another as i have loved you." and again, to quote paul, "offer up your bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and pleasing to God, this is your reasonable act ofworship." it means when it says "'till death do us part," that it means,"until we die." Having said all this, this will be my LAST post in with accordance to this matter. thus i leave you with this this quote: "What is worthhaving, is not always easy to attain. What is worth keeping is worthf ighting for. He is not a fool to give up what he cannot keep, to gainwhat he cannot lose."

Uggggg……………….rant……………ok I’m a little better. But this is the majority of America and what my child will have to contend with in his future.

A bit of a poetry day I think

2006-03-28T08:40:00.000-08:00

Self Destruction
By Ayisha Knight

Death by
Invisibility will soon
Enter
The mind for
I have been swallowed by
the diet craze.
A hundred thirty pounds is
too much for a girl
your size, the ads claim, and so
I swallow the sweet poison
with the hope someday that
I too
will have
skinny legs,
bony arms,
little breasts,
and flat stomach
in order to please the man
I used to love.
As I too become
a pill popping woman
at one hundred and twenty pounds,
I swallow my desires
and suppress my feelings of anger
and frustration
at the fear of one day expanding,
gaining power,
and one day consuming the giant
who possessesmy soul.
Slowly, I become
the incredible
shrinking woman.
At one hundred pounds,
the man
I used to love
says I am beautiful
and should become
a model.
I smile but am
too weak to respond.
The poison within my
body and mind has
overpowered me.
My throat has now
shrunk to the point
where I can
no longer scream
for my dreams.
Two ribs are removed
to maintain my
smallness,
my flat stomach,
and my non-existent hips.
I fail to feel
the pain.
My blood has
stopped its circulation
and so I die,
unable to bear life
in my attempt to
recreate
the image
of a twelve year old girl
forced to look
twice her age.

12 Reasons Homosexual Marriage Should NOT be Legal....this one's great!

2006-02-02T10:40:00.000-08:00

Top twelve reasons homosexual marriage should not be legal
1. Homosexuality is not natural, much like eyeglasses, polyester, and birth control.

2. Heterosexual marriages are valid because they produce children. Infertile couples and old people can't legally get married because the world needs more children.

3. Obviously gay parents will raise gay children, since straight parents only raise straight children.

4. Straight marriage will be less meaningful, since Britney Spears'55-hour just-for-fun marriage was meaningful.

5. Heterosexual marriage has been around a long time and hasn't changed at all; women are property, blacks can't marry whites, and divorce is illegal.

6. Gay marriage should be decided by people not the courts, because the majority-elected legislatures, not courts, have historically protected the rights of the minorities.

7. Gay marriage is not supported by religion. In a theocracy likeours, the values of one religion are imposed on the entire country.That's why we have only one religion in America.

8. Gay marriage will encourage people to be gay, in the same way that hanging around tall people will make you tall.

9. Legalizing gay marriage will open the door to all kinds of crazy behavior. People may even wish to marry their pets because a dog has legal standing and can sign a marriage contract.

10. Children can never suceed without a male and a female role model at home. That's why single parents are forbidden to raise children.

11. Gay marriage will change the foundation of society. Heterosexual marriage has been around for a long time, and we could never adapt to new social norms because we haven't adapted to cars or longer lifespans.

12. Civil unions, providing most of the same benefits as marriage with a different name are better, because a "seperate but equal"institution is always constitutional. Seperate schools for African-Americans worked just as well as seperate marriages for gays and lesbians will.

Library

2006-01-17T12:15:00.000-08:00

There are certain people in life that irritate the shit out of me. For example people who laugh at the mentally retarded, or people who trash public restrooms. There is no need for that idiotic behavior. WE ARE ALL GROWN UPS….right? The most annoying of them all, in my opinion, is the “in the library cell phone answerer”.

Now I’m not one who thinks the cell phone should be totally banned from the library. It is my only clock for one, and two, text messages allow communication with little to no disturbance for me as just so long as ringers are set on vibrate to receive. But you always have that one IDIOT who answers his cell phone. I’m sitting in the library now and in the span of 20 minutes it has happened twice…..sacrilege.

The sneaky villain is my favorite. He answers quietly and cups his hand around the mouth piece as if to contain the noise from his mouth. Then he slinks behind the desk as if he were to tie his shoe and whisperers,” hello”. There is about 10 seconds of murmured conversation, most of which I can entirely hear because it is a freggin library and I can hear EVERYTHING. Not too much of a disturbance, however still very disrespectful.

Make that 3 times now………..

The loud outside voice type is usually your good old boy Agg. major. He makes noise just sitting still, and is usually on the computer looking up sports information and or checking his facebook. He makes no qualms about the fact that his phone just rang, AND proceeds to answer it with a full on HELLO….This one is the one the librarian gets up and tracks down, hell I can hear him halfway across the room. Poor thing, he probably couldn’t read the sign. You know the one with the picture of a giant cell phone and a circle with the line drawn through it.

There were no such thing as cell phones when my parents went to school, yet they survived, got married, partied, did drugs, had babies, and found self fulfilling careers. (Not necessarily in that order) What the heck can be SOOOOO damn important that it requires an individual to answer a cell phone in the library? That’s what voice mail is for people, let alone Caller ID. Call them back eh?!

What a novel idea…..

Any who, next time you are in a library and answer your cell phone, just know that pissed off hippie chick over in the corner mumbling something under her breath is me. AND take it outside please…..for all us ADD people.

The Battle of the Poopers

2005-12-07T12:15:00.000-08:00

Men always question why women go to the bathrooms in groups. Until today I had never really questioned the act myself. It just happens that we go in groups. Maybe we need that social interaction. Maybe it's biological, strength in numbers, protection from potential predators, or maybe it is just the left over primal instinct of flocking. However, today I witnessed a woman who wished she was alone.

Before I get into that subject I have a question to ask. Why is it soooo taboo to fart? Publicly, I can understand its grotesqueness. I think it's quite comical, but in a bathroom shouldn’t it be safe to let it rip? Although not private per se, so…….. why isn’t this behavior acceptable? Women will go great lengths to conceal their gas publicly. Ask any woman about the "waiting 'till flush" maneuver to pass gas unheard. The noise of the flush is usually loud enough in public bathrooms to conceal an audible fart. Sometimes outside participant flushing doesn’t happen so we'll even flush our own toilets to provide background noise. Never more than once though, because we don't want the rest of the women in the bathroom, who are complete strangers mind you, to know we're using the "waiting 'till flush" maneuver.

Women are anal. We can hold explosive bouts of diarrhea for extremely long periods of time. Along with the "waiting 'till flush" maneuver I am guilty of being a bit anal myself. Gods forbid someone know that you ate something really raunchy about 4 hours previously and now it has made its tremulous decent violently through your intestines. Women will suffer minutes if they have to waiting it out for a flush or for the other participants to leave the bathroom. Why is it soo taboo to poop or fart in public? Hell everyone does it. Just think about that guys, that totally hot super model you jerk off to has taken an explosive shit somewhere in a public bathroom at some point in her life.

Today I sat in the middle of a cross fire of dueling poopers. I entered the restroom, in which there are 4 stalls. My usual stall, the first one was occupied. So I took the last. Yes, I had eaten some La Costena hot sauce the night before and it was ready to exit, in a hurry none the less with all the burning force of jalapeno hemorrhoids. Since it was just the two of us in the restroom, it wasn't busy enough for the "wait 'till flush" maneuver. I decided to wait her out. Surely the other person in the stall next to me would be leaving soon. Well I waited. No sound came from the opposing stall. No tinkling, no reverberating of the toilet paper roll, no movement, just silence. There we were the battling poopers waiting for the other to leave so we could RElive. The girl in the other stall had greater skills than I. I applaud her anal retentive abilities for I gave up and headed out to find another empty bathroom. Ashamed? Why yes, a bodily function has made me resort to the middle school behavior of finding an new lunch table to "sit" at. Why couldn't we just sit and enjoy the company and poop together. Isn't that the womanly thing to do?

Relapse

2005-11-17T05:50:00.000-08:00

Last night I did something I vowed I would never do again in my lifetime unless absolutely necessary. Not only did I do it once, I did it twice. I feel sooo ashamed, and disappointed in my lack of self control. Last night I went to Wal Mart. Yes folks, the place I had promised to boycott because of its corrupt capitalistic Nazi fascism. As some of you are aware (and not many people read this) my husband and I have quit work completely with the exception of out part time student jobs and are finishing school. This means that 20 hours a week at $5.15, there’s not much money to pass around. So, I had to resort to going to Wally World to pick up some necessity items.

The bad part in all of this is not only did I pick up the items I went in for (deodorant, lotion, shampoo, mouthwash, ect.) I found more stuff I didn’t need. Like hair color, which on sale for 4.95. Hell I couldn’t pass that up, especially when I normally pay $6.95 for the box. Two whole dollars, that’s like two bean burritos at Taco Bell. That’s a meal man. So ok, I finished with my Wal Mart shopping excursion with only a few extra items and headed home. No one saw me; so I think I can still stay in the Liberals for a Equal America club…teehee.

Then, around 8:30 my husband called to have me run up to school to jump his bike because it’s hella cold and won’t start. Just got to love Texas weather, two days ago it was 80 and last night it was 37 degrees. Anyhow, since my husband LOST our last set of jumper cables (yes I’m Texan and they are jumper cables not booster cables…….deal with it) we usually borrow our neighbor’s. Alas the were not home, Murphy’s law! So I decided I’d just go buy some because we need them anyways. But where can you buy jumper cables at 9PM? You guessed it, Wally World….errrrr. I haven’t visited this store in over a year, and today I have been through their doors twice. This time I had to walk all the way to the back of the store, which was a mistake. I found picture frames for $5. Since we’re poor and pictures are what our family is getting for X-mas, I was stoked. $5 is cheap! Then I saw the AC filters, I got a bundle of 3 of them for what I normally pay for ONE at the hardware store. By now I’m just plain giddy. Thus the daunting task of perusing the automotive department started. There is a secret code of organization that only men can understand there. I figured I’d be wandering around aimlessly for 20 minutes looking for jumper cables, but believe it or not this adorable little old guy who apparently works the automotive department came to ask if I, Amanda, the girl in the isle with no basket and 5 unnecessary items in her hands, needed help finding anything. I nearly passed out; you can NEVER find a living person that actually works in the automotive department actually IN the automotive department especially at 9PM. With all this excitement I didn’t think my shopping experience could possibly get any better, but it did. The jumper cables were only $5.95. WoooHooo!! (No this is not Whooping, I don’t care how long I live in Aggieland I will NEVER Whoop on purpose!) Man life is good.

So walking back to the check out line I see only 4 lights on and the customer lines past the ends of the isles. Now I remember the price you actually pay when shopping at Wal Mart. With no other alternative, and me not willing to put down my $5 frames, or AC filters I got in line with the rest of the sheep. Ten minutes later, a 88 cent dog toy (made in china by some child in a sweat shop no doubt), a $1 bottle of hand soap, and a copy of People Magazine had been added to my pile. (Yes I know I’m a sucker but It had Angelina on the cover and apparently she’s pregnant. I wanted to have her babies damnit.) Finally I paid the checker (in cash of course because if I run for public office I don’t want it to be traced that I actually supported child slave labor by shopping at Wal Mart) and got in the car to pick up Andrew. Sad but true, I enjoyed my Wal Mart excursion, but shhhhhhh, don’t tell anyone ok!

Music to My Ears

2005-11-09T10:22:00.000-08:00

When I first took my job at the beginning of the semester, the idea of getting up at 5am wasn’t all that appealing. However, now I’ve actually started to enjoy getting up so damn early. There is hardly any traffic on the way to work, I get THE best parking space in the parking lot, and the wait in line at McD’s is non existent if I choose to grab some grub. The best part is the serenity of getting up and taking a shower when all other participants in my house are fast asleep is NO interruptions of “mommy where is my……..”, NO husband poking his head in or groping me naked in the shower, no bird, cat, or dog, begging for attention or laying on the already crowded floor. Just me, the silence, and the world still asleep.
This morning it was nice out and I had the windows open, the air was cool, the sounds of night were still present, no cars, or people outside. Pure serenity! I was totally enjoying the quiet, ME time, then suddenly, as if a needle skidded across the Mozart record playing in my head, my serene quiet came to a unexpected halt and screeched into reality. A lout noise came from my bedroom, pppppppppppffffffffffffffffttttttttttt! Yep you guessed it folks, my sleeping husband was playing but in trumpet in his sleep. (damn if I only could have recorded that one he would have been so proud…teehee) This is not an uncommon occurrence at my house, we’re gaseous folks, and did you know the average person farts 14 times a day?! Imagine Angelina Jole blowing one out her cute little tush like that. It happens, I’m sure!
Not skipping a beat, because like I said my dude is always making “music”, I returned to my mental Mozart………….back to my tranquility. At that moment it happened again. Pppppppppffffffffffffffftttttttttt! This time the noise was coming from my son’s room. (he is soooooo his father’s son) At this point I decide, hell, if you can’t beat them join them………….ppppppffffffttttttt!
That’s right people. We’re the ppppppfffffffttttttt family. My mornings of peaceful bliss are not set to Mozart, but to the trumpets of my family’s own creation

One Minute Youre Here the Next Minute You're Gone

2005-10-05T14:40:00.000-07:00

In Memory of Bethany

Sitting in math class today I realized that my classmate is missing again (she was also absent on Monday). Her name is Bethany. A Short sweet little round person who I’ve come to enjoy sitting next to and talking with each Monday and Wednesday. She and I weren’t what I’d call close friends but had I met her outside of class or spent time with her I’m sure she would have ended up being a good friend. I asked the other girl who sits next to me if she had heard from or seen her. She shrugged also. Figuring she was just skipping class or ill I quickly sent her an e mail on web ct. Ten minutes later my Prof asks me to come up to her desk (we’re in lab….yes folks math lab I’m in special people math) She asked me if I knew the girl who usually sits next to me well and I said Bethany, yea she’s been gone two days, have you heard anything from her? She proceeds to hand me a piece of paper and told me to read it.

It was one of those official blanket e mails that the faculty receives. “One of our students [insert name and student ID here] has passed away” Passed away!? At this point my jaw drops to the floor and the feeling of “that will never happen to any one I know” hits as I realize I just sent her an e mail. The note summed it all up at the end listing where services will be held bla bla bla ect. Passed away…………

She was no more than 20 I believe. A virgin too…….yes this came up in discussion in math class. Passed away……….

I wasn’t particularly close to her but I did greatly enjoy her company and the fact that she’d make fun of one of the guys that sat close to us with me. She apparently had him in her history class and said he’s an idiot in there as well. So young, and gone, just like that. Kind of makes you think about your own life. Passed away……….where did that phrase come from in the first place? Passed away……….

From the information the Prof gave me it was a car crash that she was involved in. Passed away………that was no passing but instead an agonizing horrific scary death. Not to sound morbid but it’s true. One minute you’re here and the next you’re gone. Sure I’ve heard that a million times before, but today I think I felt it.

Once word spread in class some of the people said “you know that girl who sits in the back? She died!” That girl has a name, Bethany. Bethany will forever be remembered by me as the person who made fun of the “special” guy in class, came to tutoring with me because we’re both retarded at math, and was sweet, innocent and always laughing at my jokes. Bethany is her name, she’s not some girl, and my heart goes out to her parents, family, and friends. You will be missed.

In Response to the Latest Supreme Court Appointee

2005-10-04T06:43:00.000-07:00

Here we go people. In the next ten years we're going to have a set back of 20 years of social advancement and progress. Overturn the abortion decision? You bet your ass it will happen. This little tid bit puts it all into perspective for ya I think.

Conflicted America: The Ironies Abound When America sat down last week for its annual rite of national Thanksgiving, some would argue that two different nations actually celebrated: upright, moral, traditional red America and the dissolute, liberal blue states clustered on the periphery of the heartland. The truth, however, is much more complicated and interesting than that. Take two iconic states: Texas and Massachusetts. In some ways, they were the two states competing in the last election. In the world's imagination, you couldn't have two starker opposites. One is the homeplace of Harvard, gay marriage, high taxes, and social permissiveness. The other is Bush country, solidly Republican, traditional, and gun-toting. Massachusetts voted for Kerry over Bush 62 to 37 percent; Texas voted for Bush over Kerry 61 to 38 percent. So ask yourself a simple question: which state has the highest divorce rate? Marriage was a key issue in the last election, with Massachusetts' gay marriages becoming a symbol of alleged blue state decadence and moral decay. But in actual fact, Massachusetts has the lowest divorce rate in the country at 2.4 divorces per 1,000 inhabitants. Texas - which until recently made private gay sex a criminal offence - has a divorce rate of 4.1. A fluke? Not at all. The states with the highest divorce rates in the U.S. are Alabama, Arkansas, Arizona, Florida, Georgia, Mississippi, North Carolina, Oklahoma, South Carolina, and Texas. And the states with the lowest divorce rates are: Connecticut, Massachusetts, Maine, New Hampshire, New Jersey, New York, Pennsylvania, Rhode Island, and Vermont. Every single one of the high divorce rate states went for Bush. Every single one of the low divorce rate states went for Kerry. The Bible Belt divorce rate, in fact, is roughly 50 percent higher than the national average. Some of this discrepancy can be accounted for by the fact that couples tend to marry younger in the Bible Belt - and many clearly don't have the maturity to know what they're getting into. There's some correlation too between rates of college education and stable marriages, with the Bible Belt lagging a highly educated state like Massachusetts. But the irony still holds. Those parts of America that most fiercely uphold what they believe are traditional values are not those parts where traditional values are healthiest. Hypocrisy? Perhaps. A more insightful explanation is that these socially troubled communities cling onto absolutes in the abstract because they cannot live up to them in practice. But doesn't being born again help bring down divorce rates? Jesus, after all, was mum on the subject of homosexuality, but was very clear about divorce, declaring it a sin unless adultery was involved. A recent study, however, found no measurable difference in divorce rates between those who are "born again" and those who are not. 29 percent of Baptists have been divorced, compared to 21 percent of Catholics. Moreover, a staggering 23 percent of married born-agains have been divorced twice or more. Teen births? Again, the contrast is striking. In a state like Texas, where the religious right is extremely strong and the rhetoric against teenage sex is gale-force strong, the teen births as a percentage of all births is 16.1 percent. In liberal, secular, gay-friendly Massachusetts, it's 7.4, almost half. Marriage itself is less popular in Texas than in Massachusetts. In Texas, the percent of people unmarried is 32.4 percent; in Massachusetts, it's 26.8 percent. So even with a higher marriage rate, Massachusetts manages a divorce rate almost half of its "conservative" rival. Or take abortion. America is one of the few Western countries where the legality of abortion is still ferociously disputed. It's a country where the religious right is arguably the strongest single voting bloc, and in which abortion is a constant feature of cultural politics. Compare it to a country like Holland, perhaps the epitome of socially liberal, relativist liberalism. So which country has the highest rate of abortion? It's not even close. America has an abortion rate of 21 abortions per 1,000 women aged between 15 and 44. Holland has a rate of 6.8. Americans, in other words, have three times as many abortions as the Dutch. Remind me again: which country is the most socially conservative? Even a cursory look at the leading members of the forces of social conservatism in America reveals the same pattern. The top conservative talk-radio host, Rush Limbaugh, has had three divorces and an addiction to pain-killers. The most popular conservative television personality, Bill O'Reilly, just settled a sex harassment suit that indicated a highly active adulterous sex life. Bill Bennett, the guru of the social right, was for many years a gambling addict. Karl Rove's chief outreach manager to conservative Catholics for the last four years, Deal Hudson, also turned out to be a man with a history of sexual harassment. Bob Barr, the conservative Georgian congressman who wrote the "Defense of Marriage Act," has had three wives so far. The states which register the highest ratings for the hot new television show, "Desperate Housewives," are all Bush-states. The complicated truth is that America truly is a divided and conflicted country. But it's a grotesque exaggeration to say that the split is geographical, or correlated with blue and red states. Many of America's biggest "sinners" are those most intent on upholding virtue. In fact, it may be partly because they know sin so close-up that they want to prevent its occurrence among others. And some of those states which have the most liberal legal climate - the Northeast and parts of the upper MidWest - are also, in practice, among the most socially conservative. To ascribe all this to "hypocrisy" seems to me too crude an explanation. America is simply a far more complicated and diverse place than crude red and blue divisions can explain. The spasms of moralism that have punctuated American history from the first Puritans all the way through Prohibition and now the backlash against gay marriage are not therefore a war of one part of the country against another. They're really a war within the souls of all Americans. Within many a red state voter, there's a blue state lifestyle. And within many a blue state liberal, there's a surprisingly resilient streak of moralism. And it is this internal conflict that makes America still such a vibrant and compelling place. The conflict exists perhaps most powerfully within the red states themselves - as they grapple with the "sin" of their own practices and the high standards of their own aspirations. It's worth remembering that Bill Clinton was a product of a red state. And that for more than half his life, George W. Bush was a dissolute wastrel from a blue state family. These contradictions are not the exceptions. They are the American rule. And if you love this tortured and fascinating country, one more reason to be thankful it still exists.

November 28, 2004, Sunday Times.copyright © 2000, 2004 Andrew Sullivan

Stand in Line, Don't Run Inside, and Push Your Chairs In..........Elementary Words of Wisdom

2005-10-03T16:25:00.000-07:00

As I walk into work this afternoon and flip on the lights to the class room I'm about to set up I realize that 18 out of 30 chair are sideways, missing or out away from the desk tables. (yes I counted them) Now ordinarily this wouldn't bother a normal person.........But I am no normal person. So to calm my neurosis I start avidly putting chair by chair back under the table murmuring obscenities under my breath. I mean come on........We're talking about grown people here. I could understand chairs being misplaced in a 3rd grade class room but not in a college class room. Grown people man......Sometimes they kill me.

So by now I've gotten all the chairs back in order the desks pushed back in straight lines (and yes they were crooked too) knowing that in two hours when I come back to this room it's going to be the same mess. I'm no neat freak, anyone who knows me or has been to my house can tell you that, but little things like pushing the chair under the table drive me nutz. Grown people.......Grown people...........I think I'll make a sign....LOL